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Seizing Control: Black Shamrocks MC #1, by Kylie Hillman
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When a monster owns your past, can you control your destiny?
Only daughter of the volatile President of the Black Shamrocks MC and long-suffering sister to four overprotective brothers, Madelaine O'Brien has survived circumstances that would have broken a lesser woman.
Mik 'Mad Dog' Kennedy is her salvation, her reward for continuing to fight, and the matching piece of her soul.
With her life happy and on track, will the reappearance of the monster from her past be the event that finally breaks her? Or will he be the catalyst she needs to put it all behind her, once and for all?
They say when life gives you lemons; make lemonade. What happens when life keeps sending you demons who refuse to stay buried? Do you lie down and accept defeat or rise to the seemingly unwinnable challenge, and start SEIZING CONTROL?
Disclaimer: This story contains graphic situations that may not be suitable for all readers.
- Published on: 2015-09-30
- Released on: 2015-09-30
- Format: Kindle eBook
Review
"5 twisted stars! Loved the start to this series, I may be obsessed after this!"�-Amazon Reviewer"Plot twists, dark, angst.... this story keeps you turning the pages! I love the flip between the past and the present, giving you the back story that leads to the present day events!"�-Amazon Reviewer"Wow!! By far one of the greatest MC books that I've ever read! Takes ya for a very wild, dark and twisted ride from the very first chapter. Once I got started it was almost impossible to stop."�-Amazon Reviewer"So I never leave reviews but here it goes...I'm not much of a reader but OMG this book had me on edge and I read the entire book in 2 days."�-Amazon Reviewer"Real, raw and hits every emotion on the spectrum. I commend Kylie Hillman for being so bold and down right honest while writing this story. The fact of the matter is that the events that are described in this book are taking place in every day life. I feel stronger after reading this and I can't wait for book 2's release!"�-Amazon Reviewer
From the Author
Back story�of the novel...
�
This story began as a dream I had- complete with names and one of the most disturbing scenes. It would probably be better to describe it more as a nightmare. Coupled with my dream is the prevalence of domestic violence in Australian society and the sad fact that I have a few friends who've been in similar controlling and abusive situations. I also had a brush with my own "Brendan" in my late teens before I found my husband. It's an all too common situation and unless you've been in it, people find it hard to understand the complexities of your emotions and denials--and the reasons why people stay. I wanted to try to explain why women (and men) stay in situations that are obviously not good for them, and in some cases life-threatening, without romanticising it or redeeming the "bad guy".
From the Inside Flap
The same three questions keep coming up in reviews so I want to address them, once and for all.�The first is why Lainey didn't simply tell her father, Mik, or the Club what was going on.�The easy answer is PRIDE. She is a proud woman; someone who prides herself on her ability to take care of her brothers, her father, and Mik. Brendan hones in on this "weakness" and uses it against her. He takes her need to minimise the pain and suffering of her family and turns it into the leverage he needs to gain control of her.�She won't tell because since her mother's death she's been the one to look after everyone else. She is completely unable to ask for help because it goes against fibre of her being to be the cause of drama in her family."Pride comes before the fall" is a very common saying and it sums up Lainey very well. She lets ego and the need to be seen as omnipotent get in the way of what should be a simple decision to ask from help. Her abuser taps into her Achilles heel and uses it against her; just like abusers do in real life. Those thoughts were the driving force behind this passage...�
Every ounce of logic I possess tells me that I should run to Mik, longing filling me at the thought of finding comfort in his arms. But Brendan's words echo through my head, stopping me. Mik's going to hate me if he finds out what happened. How used, disgusting, and broken I am now. He begged me not go tonight, and I didn't listen.
Even if Mik�doesn't�blame me, will telling him keep me safe and end this nightmare? Or will it just give Brendan the ammunition he needs to hurt everyone I love? Mik was ready to hurt him for pushing me over tonight--I know he'll kill him for raping me. Mik's tough, he's strong and deadly, but Brendan's proven that he's pure evil. I can't take the risk that Mik will end up in jail if I drag him into this mess. With what he did to me tonight, Brendan made it clear that he's not scared of the Black Shamrocks, and that he has no respect for what they stand for.
�And the pictures he says he has of Benji? I doubt he's lying. Exposing my twin's drug use would wreck his dream career before it's even begun. He's already finding it hard to get teams to take him seriously because our father is a member of an "Outlaw"Motorcycle Club. Drug use would be the final straw.
Everything spins around my mind, fighting to be heard. Dad's disappointment. Wendy's pity. Mik's changed view of me. Benji's broken dreams. And my little brothers...God, my little brothers.
Leaning my head against the steering wheel, tears streaming down my cheeks as the loneliness of my predicament sinks in, I make a decision.�I can't let anyone else get hurt because of a monster I brought into our lives.�It's smarter and safer for me to keep everything to myself until I can fix the problem�I've�created. My mission is to find the photos of Benji and get Brendan out of my life--out of everyone's life.
Choice made, I pull back on to the highway and drive out the other side of town toward my home.
The long answer to the question involves the cycle of abuse. By the time Lainey has realised what's going on in her relationship with Brendan, he's already well into the humiliation and limiting independence phase of domestic violence. Her confidence in herself is shot, and she has been worn down to such a degree that she is unwilling to tell anyone what's going on for fear that they're going to blame her for it all...like Brendan does, already.�It's a vicious cycle and one that looks so simple to break from the outside. People who've never experienced it do not understand why the person being abused refuses to take that one step that will put an end to the horror. The answer is not that they don't want to; they simply can't. They basically can't see the forest for the trees and without a large and loyal support system they'll never be able to.�This question is the one that drove me to write this story. I hope you'll keep this information at the forefront of your thoughts; especially when you feel like throttling Lainey for not doing what you would :-)The second question revolves around the fact that Mik didn't rush in and save Lainey like an "alpha" should.�In regards to Mik saving her, he cut himself off from her for the four worst months of her relationship with Brendan. This was due to his own insecurities that he wasn't good enough for her. Which is addressed in chapter twelve with this passage.
�
"Why?�Is it because he's fucking rich? Because of his famous last name? Because he treats you like a fucking piece of shit and you secretly get off on it?" I ask her,�eye balling�her with fury. I want fucking answers. "Or is it because I'm a fucking�dumb ass�biker who you're too good for?"
The last question is my biggest fear. Lainey's so fucking smart and beautiful, too good for the likes of me, but I didn't think shit like that mattered to her. Obviously I was wrong.
"It's not like that," she cries. "It's complicated..."
"It�wasn't�complicated when I was fucking you last night, when you came all over my fingers and my fucking cock. It wasn't complicated when you gave me your virginity. And it definitely wasn't complicated when you told me that you fucking love me."
My voice is getting louder and louder. We're gonna have an audience to witness my fucking humiliation if I don't get away from her soon.
Grabbing my arm again, she begs. "Please, Mik. I can't explain right now. I need time."
Ripping my arm away from her, I throw my hands in the air. "You know what, little girl?" I sneer at her, turning my pain into anger. The need to hurt her like she's hurting me overtakes me. "It's all good, I don't need your bullshit explanations. I won't lie, I enjoyed being your first fuck, but I prefer playing with women, not little girls. So run along and enjoy your life with Prince fucking Charming."
When her expression fills with pain at my words, my heart skips a beat. It kills me to see my lies hurt her. Turning my back on her, I'm heading for the closed door when she whispers so quietly that I almost don't hear her words. "I do love you.�Please believe me. I just need time."
�
PLEASE NOTE: I wrote this story with the intentions that Lainey wasn't going to be miraculously rescued by the alpha, although that seems to be the expectation that most of the reviewers that are critical of Mik not jumping in with some telepathic sixth sense of what was happening when Lainey was going to deliberate lengths to keep it from everyone.
�
The third and final question that seems to keep popping up is�"Why didn't Benji step up to help her?".�In regards to Benji (her twin) voicing his objections to Brendan, yet not taking action to put a stop to the relationship, it's alluded to in Seizing Control that he's in the beginnings of his spiral into drug addiction and that they have more of a pseudo-mother/son relationship. Even though they are the same age, Lainey took on a more nurturing role in their relationship after their mother died, and because of this, she doesn't listen to him or respect his thoughts as much as she should. Their relationship is explored in further depth in book three of the Black Shamrocks MC series, Seeking Redemption.
Most helpful customer reviews
5 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
Ok story on repeat.
By AutW
I wish I wasn't as disappointed with this book as I am. It started out pretty good, but going from present day to years ago, back to the present, just to jump back made the book a little hard to read. Once the memories stopped, it was easier to follow.
As far as the characters were, they were stereotypical MC characters. Madeleine "Maddi/Lainey" is a MC club princess, thanks to her daddy. Mikhail "Mik" is the all-around bad boy biker.
Two-thirds into the book, I wondered aloud if Lainey was ever going to get a break. It was like the story was on repeat, and it was the third time reading the SAME situation in the story. Also, there were some sentences at the end of paragraphs that appeared to be cut off.
I received this book for free in exchange for an honest review. I am reviewing for Kylie's Fiction Addiction.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
4 star ride
By Kelly R
In the present, Madelaine "Lainey" O'Brien, daughter of the Black Shamrocks MC president is engaged to Mik "Mad Dog" Kennedy, alpha and VP of the club. In the past, Lainey's boyfriend, Brendan, was a controlling, manipulative and violent monster and that monster is returning to threaten her present.
We learn what happened to Lainey in the past through a series reoccurring flashbacks. Do take the trigger warnings seriously as there are graphic depictions of violence and rape. Usually I'm not overly fond of stories where there is a lot of jumping between the past and the present, but it was well-done here and I thought it worked unusually well for the story.
Overall the book was very well-written, with a suspenseful plot and interesting characters and Irish/Gaelic touches that added some nice flavor to the story. While we are left with questions which I expect will be resolved in the continuing books in the series, there isn't a true cliffhanger. There were a few times when I felt we were being told what happened instead of shown, most notably in the epilogue, and times I thought the characters were a little inconsistent, but still this is a sold, 4 star read for me, and I will be looking forward to more books in this series and from this author.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Gripping must read...
By LBrad (B2B)
I received a gifted ecopy of this book.
Love love loved it. Wow, this book was amazing.
I loved the way the author told this story, going from past to present and alternating POV's made this a really great read. There are so many books out there where the characters have huge dark secrets and the author uses that to build the intensity, this story is very different, you know all along what's happening, but the suspense and intensity is there in bucket loads.
The story gripped me from the first word, and I didn't want to put it down until I was finished. I loved all the characters in this book, good and bad, as without them the story wouldn't be what it is.
The main characters in this book are Lainey and Mik, Lainey is a fighter, full of spirit and determined not to let what happened in her past rule her, she is fiercely loyal and when she loves someone she loves them hard. Mik is our hot alpha male biker, loyalty is second nature to him, he is overprotective of those he loves and will do what it takes to protect Lainey and his MC club, even if it means losing his heart.
This book is a must read if you ask me, and I am looking forward to more from this series.
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